


Bitten

by SweetTwilight



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 02:47:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9528494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetTwilight/pseuds/SweetTwilight
Summary: When Obi-Wan is accidentally bitten by a strange creature on mission, he doesn't make a fuss about it. As he wraps the wound, the only thought that crosses his mind is that he has already survived worst. But when his blood starts to boil through his veins and a strange desire for raw meat strikes him, he doesn't know how to cope. Vampire Star Wars AU mixed with some canon stuff.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something I've been working on and already posted on Fanfiction.net. I thought I might share it with you guys :D Don't be afraid to comment :) 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars obviously, it belongs to Disney and LucasFilm, I'm just playing a little :) 
> 
> *I hope there are still Obikin shippers out there!!*
> 
> Enjoy :D

Quiet. An abstract concept most of the time. A word not often used between those walls. Well, not in those specific walls, anyway. Not with Anakin around. Anakin was loud. He had always been loud, always searching for action, always looking forward to the next adventure. Of course, it was his most beautiful aspect; anyone in the Jedi Temple could be influenced by Anakin's bright Force signature. Even _he_ appreciated it, more than anyone, more than he was willing to admit. More than once, his emotionally unstable counterpart had been the light he needed to hold on to in tough times. Anakin Skywalker, the Chosen One, the Hero with no Fear, call him what you like…

But sometimes, _only sometimes_ , Obi-Wan loved to bathe in the calmness and quietness of their shared living quarters when Anakin wasn't around. If he concentrated enough, he could almost hear the younglings playing with their training sabers with Master Yoda a few floors below, the cries of little Force sensitive babies up in the crèche and even the water flowing all the way down in the room of a thousand fountains. Obi-Wan sighed and closed his eyes. Anakin had decided that morning that an extra training session was needed and his former Master had decided that morning that he would not follow him this time. The younger Jedi had seemed surprised but his Master's refusal, but he hadn't questioned and left. Leaving their quarters in an unusual tranquility Obi-Wan was determined to appreciate.

The tea mug behind him started fizzing as steam from the boiling water tried to escape its confinement. Turning off the heat, he reached for the small bowl of crushed leaves and spices he had prepared several minutes ago. A mix of mint and dried peach he always fetched by himself in the gardens of the Temple and dried under a special light offered by one of his friends when he was younger. He placed the spices in a small container which he dropped into the hot water, it delicious fumes already doing wonders to his nose.

His last mission had been heavy on his nerves. He might be called the Negotiator, but sometimes the stupidity of the people he had to deal with drained his legendary patience away. Dear Force, sometimes Obi-Wan wondered in what kind of world he was living… He usually never refused a good, tiring training session with his former Padawan. But this morning, his tired mind urged him to stay home for a little while. Obi-Wan sighed again as he thought that he was not as young as he was before. He sometimes envied Anakin for all the energy the man had flowing through his veins.

Anakin… The older Jedi couldn't help a soft smile building on his lips as he thought of the man he had taken under his wings, trained, protected and loved for so many years. The younger Jedi had the world on his knees; the ladies were dying under his gaze and beautiful muscular structure, the younglings were dying of hope to become his next Padawan, almost every knight in the Temple looked up to him for advice and he had the respect of the majority of the Council's members. At the age of 23, that was considered one of the best honors a Jedi Knight could receive. Obi-Wan wouldn't even be surprised if the man was put on the Council in the next year or two.

The war had been rough for the two of them lately. Even after 5 years of constant battles, negotiations and barely getting away with their lives, Count Dooku still always found a way to escape their grasp and they still haven't found the Sith Lord they have been after for so long. If Obi-Wan was honest with himself, he would say that he was more than tired of this stupid war. Not because he wanted to stay alive or anything, frankly, he didn't really care for it. He had sworn to himself that he would die on the battlefield while protecting those who needed it. But what about those he couldn't protect? What about the millions of innocents that had suffered and died throughout the Galaxy in the past years? That was why Obi-Wan was tired of the war: because countless of innocent lives were lost, and he was powerless to stop it.

Brushing those thoughts aside, he smelled the sweet vapors of his tea and when they were to his taste, he removed the device containing the spices and poured the hot liquid into a cup. Since it was still too hot to drink without burning himself, he put it on the small living room table and went to fetch his datapad. There was a book he had been looking forward to finish for quite some time now. He usually read before going to sleep, but since it was so quiet he ravished in the idea of some extra reading. The words in the stories he read kept him away from all the negative energy the war was bringing on them. So many deaths… Last week, they had lost yet another Padawan. A Padawan – no, a child for Force's sake. Younglings were promoted to the rank of Padawan younger than ever to make up for the losses of Jedi Knights on the battlefield. Obi-Wan found it sick: they were keepers of the peace, not soldiers.

He plunged into his readings and didn't see the time flowing by. It was only when Anakin dramatically entered their quarters and disturbed the peace that he lifted his eyes from the datapad and… Dear Force, what was that smell?!

"You really missed something this morning, Master…" Anakin cried from the entrance as if their small apartment was as big as a supermarket and Obi-Wan was standing at the opposite end of it. "Shame you didn't come!"

Obi-Wan sighed, already missing the quietness of the small rooms, took one last sip of his tea and put the datapad aside. "I assume it was good?" He asked back, standing to meet his former Padawan halfway.

Anakin turned around to face him, all smile and untied his cloak to put it at its rightful place on the wall beside the door, next to the lighter one belonging to Obi-wan. As soon as the heavy fabric was off Anakin's shoulders, Obi-Wan suddenly averted his eyes as Anakin proudly flashed his freshly worked chest muscles which were free of any clothing. At least, it was explaining the smell…

"Dear Force, Anakin, put some clothes on…" Obi-Wan whimpered, "The whole Galaxy already knows how _handsome_ you are, there's no need to remind me…" He added with a pang of sarcasm.

Anakin smirked under his Master's remarks and pumped his chest even more. "Why? Don't you like what you see?" He joked, chuckling lightly.

Obi-Wan faced him again but kept his eyes straight to the younger man's face and his arms crossed on his chest. "Are you seriously asking the question, dear Padawan of mine?" He asked with a hint of annoyance tinted with a smile.

Anakin sighed heavily and lowered his eyes to the floor. "I don't know… I mean, you never talk about that stuff! I know the code keeps us from loving, marrying, shitting, sneezing and all, but… You never talk about women so…"

Obi-Wan chuckled under his breath and turned around with the intention of finishing the chapter he had started. "I do not need this sort of 'stuff', Anakin. I've already told you twice. Please, leave me be." He simply replied in a casual tone. Too casual for Anakin's taste.

"So you're asexual," Anakin shouted back from the entrance.

"Am _not_." The older Jedi replied matter-of-factly.

Within seconds, the younger Jedi was at his side, his sport smell invading Obi-Wan's nostrils and personal space. "So you're admitting that you need this stuff, too! Come on, Master… you never talk about it! I'm dying of curiosity here! Isn't there a woman you like? Satine! You liked Satine! She's very pretty and-"

"And very dead." Obi-Wan declared, cutting his former Padawan's speech, lifting his eyes from the datapad to stare at the taller man with a frown. "Please, Satine was a very honorable woman and a dear friend of mine. Don't spoil her memory by thinking of her like that."

Anakin made a tortured face. "Come on… You have to admit she was pretty, right? With her blonde hair and blue eyes… And Force, those tits…" He started, putting a particular attention to the last word.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan shouted in indignity, blushing violently.

"Sorry Master."

The two men stayed silent for several minutes, Obi-Wan staring at his former Padawan and Anakin staring at the floor. They had had this kind of conversation before, and no matter how many times Anakin had tried, he had never been able to crack up Obi-Wan on what his sexual orientation was and if he liked anyone. For the younger Jedi, it was quite frustrating. At one point, Obi-Wan sighed heavily and offered Anakin a friendly smile. "Why is it that you want to know so badly about my sexual preferences, Anakin?" He asked in a soft tone, letting the younger man know that it was more the friend talking right now than the Master.

Anakin looked up and shrugged, the boosting confidence he was harboring a couple of minutes ago faded in oblivion. "I don't know… It's just that we shared so much together… You know me better than I know myself and I guess I'm simply very curious. I want to see you happy, that's all." He responded, finally daring to look at his former Master's eyes.

Obi-Wan sighed and smiled, reaching forward to give Anakin's knee a gentle squeeze. "You're right, Anakin. I should tell you." He simply declared, putting his datapad aside.

Anakin's eyes grew twice their size and his jaw might have dropped on the floor. "Really? Are you serious?" He asked with a wide smile.

Obi-Wan huffed and changes position on the small couch in order to sit closer to his former Padawan, who was sitting on the lounge just beside it. "I can't see why not… You're right on one thing, Anakin, we _do_ share everything. I can't see why I shouldn't share this particular information with you…" He said casually with a side smile.

Anakin could not believe it. He had tried to get this piece of information for _years_ now. He felt like a child who was about to discover what was in the box of a present given on a Life Day after shaking it several times while trying to guess what it was. Obi-Wan was one of the most renowned Jedi Master in the whole galaxy. His cunning charm, his honorable manners, and his negotiating skills put the women across the Republic on their knees in front of him. Surely there was someone somewhere who might have caught his heart? Eager to finally know the truth, Anakin sat at the edge of his chair, all his senses on alert.

Obi-Wan smirked at the younger Jedi's reaction. He knew the boy had wanted to know where his heart belonged for a long time. The Jedi Master wasn't a fool: he knew Anakin was somehow involved with a certain Senator they knew all too well. In fact, he had known for quite some time, from the moment he had seen the little nine years old boy look at the young lady in admiration like he had seen the most beautiful sight in the whole galaxy. His former Padawan's reaction when they had learned that they had to protect the Senator about 4 years ago when he was just about to turn 20, had pretty much given it away. Also, Anakin wasn't the kind of man who could be… how could he say it… discreet? Of course, the Jedi Code forbade any kind of attachment and love, but Obi-Wan had always kept in tongue concerning Anakin and his love life. Even though he knew the boy was in fault, he knew, deep inside, that he would be affected deeply if Anakin were to be expelled.

So looking at the younger Jedi's big eyes full of anticipation, Obi-Wan couldn't help but laugh under his breath. "You want to know what my… desires are, is that it?" He declared in a low voice, keeping the anticipation a little longer for the tortured boy.

On his toes, Anakin simply nodded, his eyes not daring to blink. Smirking, Obi-Wan got his face close to the younger man's, his eyes full of sparkles, full of secrets dying to be discovered. The younger man swallowed heavily, his heart thumping in eagerness. And then Obi-Wan's smile got wide, "My most secret desire right now, dear Padawan of mine… is for you to get a shower. Force, you stink more than a rotting Hutt!" He declared in a laugh while pinching his nose.

Anakin froze for a second, processing what his Master had just declared. Then, even though deception washed over him, he had to laugh at Obi-Wan's remark. He had worked out quite a bit this morning and it truly smelled indeed. And the way Obi-Wan was looking at him gave him a clue of _how bad_ he actually smelled. Nodding, he lifted himself off the lounge chair and turned to walk toward the small bathroom. "Yeah… I'll take care of that…" He said, winking at his former Master who was still pinching his nose.

"Please do…" The Master replied back, his voice muffled by his hand covering his nostrils.

Anakin laughed as he opened the bathroom door. "I'll let it slip this time Master, but I promise I'll get that information out of you someday! You won't get away with this!" He said before entering the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

Now alone in the living room, Obi-Wan's smile disappeared and he bowed his head as he heard the water running in the shower. Deep within his chest, his heart twitched a little and he swallowed the feeling down. "I'm not sure you would like to know, Anakin…" He said to himself before grabbing his datapad again to go hide within the words. Stories got him away from the reality. Stories didn't judge.

As soon as he was out of the shower, his hair still dripping water, Anakin wrapped a towel around his hips and went straight to the living room where Obi-Wan was still sitting, hiding behind his kriffing datapad. Anakin hated to read. It was long, boring and missed the action he needed to live by. If Anakin was completely honest with himself, he would declare that reading was a total waste of time. Reading stories, that is. Reading important things, like reports or information about a mission, would never be a waste of time in his eyes. Not that he liked it – sitting there doing nothing with his body was not his personal cup of tea. For some reasons he always needed to have his hands busy: tinkering a droid or ship parts or wielding his lightsaber in a sweat breaking kata. That was more his thing.

Stepping closer to the small living space, he went to place himself right in front of his former Master, pushing the coffee table out of the way with his legs and proudly pumping his chest so the man would notice him. To his disappointment, Obi-Wan didn't even flinch and stayed concentrated on his readings. Annoyed, Anakin cleared his throat to make himself noticed. "Hu-hum..."

His eyes still glued to the datapad, Obi-Wan simply took a loud sniff. "Much better."

Anakin sighed heavily. Obviously, his stubborn former Master wouldn't tell him anything today. After so many years of trying to know if Obi-Wan had a woman in his heart and reaching nothing, he had discreetly flashed once in a while to his Master to see if his toned muscled chest and his broad shoulders would trigger any reaction whatsoever in the man. Unfortunately, Obi-Wan didn't seem very interested in them and would usually look at him with a crooked eyebrow when he presented himself with nothing on his shoulders. Looking down at his feet, Anakin decided that it way maybe time to abandon the fight…

"Why don't you look at me, Master?" He simply asked, concerned. "Is the sight of my body disgusting you?"

Obi-Wan's eyes froze, then he lifted his head to stare at Anakin's face like the man had just declared the stupidest sentence he had ever heard. "…Excuse me?!"

Anakin kept his eyes focused on the older Jedi, determined. "You never look at me, Master. Whenever I walk around with no shirt on or get out of the shower, you either turn your head to avoid the sight or stare directly into my eyes… Am I disgusting to look at for you?" He asked with a small frown. Even though he had been doing that just to analyze his Master's reaction, it did bother him a little that the man actually _avoided_  looking at him.

Obi-Wan looked at him for several seconds and shook his head in disbeliefs. "Why are you so inclined on the image you're projecting, Padawan? Why is it so important to you? It's not like we need to look good, we're Jedi! We protect the galaxy, we do not seduce it..."

Anakin rolled his eyes at the comment. "I have no intentions of _seducing_ the galaxy, Master. It's just that it bothers me to know that the man who practically raised me cannot bear to look at me when I'm shirtless."

The two men stayed silent for a moment, staring at each other long enough to make Anakin wonder if he had gone too far. But at one point, Obi-Wan took a deep breath and pointed to the lounger chair beside the couch. "Sit." He ordered.

Anakin didn't hesitate and did what he was told, waiting for what was next. His Master had placed the datapad aside, had crossed his legs and seemed to search his words. "Anakin…" He started, "You are right on a certain level. I _did_ raise you from the moment I took you under my care when you were barely nine years old. Not that long ago, you were under my protection. The only reason why I don't… look at you, like you said, is because now you are my equal. You're no longer my Padawan, but more like my colleague. I don't 'look' at you out of respect."

Anakin looked disappointed at Obi-Wan's words. "I thought I was more to you than a mere colleague…" He whispered in a voice tinted with a pang of sadness.

Obi-Wan chuckled a little under his breath and gave his former Padawan a warm smile. "That's not what I meant, Anakin. You know you are my best friend in the entire galaxy and nothing can change that. Just… please, understand my position here." He said, pressing a gentle hand to the younger man's shoulder.

Anakin looked at Obi-Wan and smiled. "I understand."

Then, Obi-Wan lowered his eyes long enough to let Anakin know that he was 'looking'. He made sure to brush his eyes to every single part of Anakin's chest, his shoulders, even his muscled, strong arms. When he looked back up, he smiled. "There. Happy?"

Anakin just stared. "Somehow."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Good. Now, let it go."

Anakin swallowed a little bit of his pride as Obi-Wan lifted himself from the couch to take his empty cup to the kitchen. It's only when he heard the water of the sink running that he remembered what he had meant to tell his former Master all along. "Master Windu came to speak to me earlier. We are summoned before the Council at noon." He declared, also lifting himself with the intention of getting dressed.

Obi-Wan sighed heavily and replaced the now clean cup back where it belonged on the shelves. "I was hoping for some much-needed rest… Guess that'll have to wait… again. Did he give you any clue on what kind of mission he's sending us?" He asked, clearly annoyed.

"He didn't say…" Anakin replied.

"Of course, he never does…" Obi-Wan whispered more to himself than anything. "Alright, I'm making a stew for dinner, how does that sound?"

Even though it was still morning and Anakin had had quite a large breakfast already, his stomach growled in anticipation. The Temple's food was far from the best and he always enjoyed his Master's cooking. "That sounds really great!"

Obi-Wan turned around and smiled. "Great, now go get dressed, or I'll keep it all to myself!"

Anakin laughed under the false threat but quickly rushed to his personal room to put some clothes on.

The walk to the High Council's chambers was made in silence. Of course, Anakin was always looking forward to a new mission, to some action and Obi-Wan actually prayed the Force that Master Windu had assigned them to something that would bring Anakin the adrenaline he desperately needed. He was tired, but he would take some more action a thousand times before having to pass several weeks beside a whining Anakin lacking excitement in some 'boring' negotiating mission, like the man liked to call them.

Soon enough they found themselves in front of the large doors leading to the famous round chamber. As they always did before entering to face the Council, they looked at each other and smiled; a kind reminder that they were and always would be a team, no matter what. Obi-Wan looked up to his former Padawan, "Ready?" He asked.

Anakin smiled back. "As always."

Nodding, Obi-Wan punched the button and the large door opened in front of them, revealing the waiting Council on the other side. Master Windu and Master Yoda were present, as always. Master Shaak Ti, Master Mundi and Master Tiin were present as well. Master Koon was on mission on the Quarl system, but honored us with his presence via a holo projection on his usual chair. Bowing respectably to them all, the two men stepped in the center of the room, waiting for orders. "You summoned us, Masters?" Obi-Wan asked, joining his hands in front of him and hiding them in the layers of his cloak.

"Indeed." Master Windu declared in his usual powerful voice. "King Aguilar from the Neropta system has contacted us this morning. In the light of the recent events, they are interested to join the Republic. We are sending you two to make an official first contact."

At Mace's statement, both men frowned. "The Neropta system…" Obi-Wan mumbled, "The name is unfamiliar, is it within the Republic borders?" He asked,

"A couple of parsecs beyond the Outer Rim…" Master Mundi replied, stroking his chin. "The Council had tried to rally this planet to the Republic about 40 years ago when King Aguilar's father was sitting on the Throne."

"The man was a vicious dictator thirsty with power." Master Plo Koon added, his voice slightly muffled by the holo projector. "From Master Yoda's report, the population recently rebelled after being starved for 25 years while the King ate, drank and wore the planet's resources. Of course, as soon as his heart stopped beating, his son was the rightful heir to the Throne…"

"Hmm…" Master Yoda grumbled, "Much different from his father, this new King is. Peace and equality, his goals are."

Anakin nodded. Since the war had begun, as several already known systems had left the Republic to hide behind the Separatists, more unknown and uncharted systems had joined the Republic. Missions like this one, where Jedi were sent to make what they liked to call 'the first contact', were more and more frequent in their schedule. "Did the Senate approve this?" He asked, knowing Chancellor Palpatine was always eager to open his arms to new systems.

Master Windu smiled at Anakin's question. "The Senate is actually putting pressure on us to leave as soon as possible. Master Kenobi, I sent you an official report concerning the Planet. The necessary information you will both need to know before departing; temperature, culture, traditions and so on. Should be enough for you to get by."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Did this new King express any reasons why he wished to join the Republic?" He asked, crossing his arms. That may have sounded like a stupid question at first, but Obi-Wan had dealt with several systems, paid and commanded by Count Dooku, who had tried to infiltrate the Republic in order to destroy it. Thankfully, he and Anakin had been able to stop them before any real damage was done.

"It seems that Count Dooku's war techniques pushed them to take our side…" Master Shaak Ti said, her voice as sweet and calm as ever. "After so many years under the last King's ministrations, this new King wishes a new era of peace and hopes we can help them to achieve it. Master Kenobi, I trust we can count on you to make sure of their honesty?"

Obi-Wan smiled. "Count on me."

"Then it is settled." Master Windu declared with a rare side smile. "You will both leave two days from now at dawn. May the Force be with you."

On this, Anakin and Obi-Wan bowed and left the room. "This is going to be exciting!" Anakin declared with a large smile, "A new planet, a new world, a new culture to discover…"

"Indeed…" Obi-Wan agreed. "I simply hope they're not half as stubborn as my last 'first contact' was…"

Anakin chuckled and looked down at Obi-Wan. He knew that the majority of time, the 'first contacts' were mostly undereducated people who knew nothing of the war raging beyond their borders. Most of them thought they could conquer the Galaxy with a snapping of a finger. More than once, poor Obi-wan had had to put them back in their places, and that implied several heated arguments. Thank the Force for his negotiating skills…

"That bad?" Anakin asked, since he hadn't been part of Obi-Wan's last mission off-world.

Obi-Wan looked at him and made a tortured expression. "Dear Force, you have no idea… I suppose you want me to read all the 'boring stuff' like I always do?"

Anakin's eyes grew at Obi-Wan proposition to read all the necessary reports and give him the essential. They both knew how Anakin hated to read. "Please, I'm begging you…" He said with a fake pleading tone – he already knew his former Master would say yes.

Obi-Wan shook his head and sighed happily. "Alright, I'll do it. You're lucky I'm enjoying it, though. You should read more, it might calm your mind a little…" He commented, smirking.

Anakin gave a disgusted groan. "No thanks… Also, my mind is already calm. You just can't see it."

Obi-Wan laughed at Anakin's comment. "You may be right. By the way, they're going to elect me queen of Naboo next week…"

Anakin stopped walking and huffed, followed closely by a wide smile. He was used to Obi-Wan teasing him as soon as the older man didn't believe what he had just said. "Seriously? Queen of Naboo? Come on, Master… you can do better than that…"

Several hours later, Anakin emerged from his room and went to the living room, where Obi-Wan was still installed reading the official report of this new planet. For a Jedi, it was critical to know every aspect of the planet and its people before landing there. They had to be prepared for anything – temperature hazard could slow their work down and they could be unable to finish a mission if they didn't know the locals culture properly. One time, Obi-Wan had requested that Anakin read the reports. Of course, since the man hated to read, he had vaguely passed through the important points without porting attention to details. As soon as they had landed, Anakin had bowed to one of the Planet's leaders while forgetting the 'not so important looking but still very critical' fact that bowing was considered an insult in that system. Thanks to Obi-Wan's skilled tongue, they had avoided a monumental disaster with the planet's leaders. That night, Obi-Wan had given Anakin the scolding of the millennium and even though Anakin was taller than his former Master, he had never felt so small in his life. Obi-Wan was a scary man when he was enraged. His former Master's patience might be legendary, but Anakin had promised himself never to cross that line again, no matter how strong it was.

So each time Obi-Wan agreed to read all the important stuff, Anakin was always relieved. He knew that even if he put the effort into it, he might miss important information again. Sighing he went to stand behind the couch where Obi-Wan was installed. "Anything interesting so far?" He asked in a soft tone not to scare his Master.

"Well... I would wildly suggest you pack your snow tunics and your boots. The average temperature in civilized ground is already 20 degrees under the freezing point – and that's if you're staying at the bottom of the Mountains…" Obi-Wan mentioned, keeping his eyes on the datapad.

"Ugh…" Anakin grimaced. He was a man of the desert. After all, he had been born on Tattooine and was used to heat more than anyone he knew. He could handle heat, but freezing colds? Of course, he could manage, but that didn't mean he liked it one bit. "Anything else?"

"Hmmm…" Obi-Wan mumbled, deep in concentration. "Humanoids like us, majority of the population is black of hair with blue eyes, average lifespan of 37 standard years…"

"37?" Anakin asked, impressed. "That's rather low…"

Obi-Wan turned around to face him. "Don't forget that the population starved for more than 25 years, this may blur the statistics with extreme data; I wouldn't be surprised if the children died at a very young age due to the lack of food necessary to their development…" Obi-Wan added, disgusted at the thought. "Also, with a planet temperature where it is easy to freeze to death, a low average lifespan is understandable…"

Anakin nodded. "I guess you're right…" He had known periods of drought when he was young. People of his home-planet died of thirst. Freezing to death was something he really wasn't used to and frankly, the idea gave him chills.

Obi-Wan got back to his datapad. "It says that it is suggested to drink wine an hour before going to bed – quote: 'the effect of the alcohol on the bloodstream will provide some necessary heat to pass through the rough night's frost'. Hmm, that promises to be interesting…"

Anakin laughed and gave his former Master a small tap on the shoulder. "That's great, maybe I'll see you drunk for the first time!" He said with a teasing pang.

Obi-Wan clicked his tongue and shook his head. "I'm a Jedi Master. The Force is all I need to procure me heat when I need it."

"I may only be a Jedi Knight, but I think a little fun once in a while does not hurt anybody. If the report says it is recommended to drink wine, why should I refuse?" Anakin replied, challenging.

"Suit yourself…" Obi-Wan groaned.

Anakin stretched his arms, his strong morning workout starting to wear of his muscles, and went to sit on his usual spot on the lounge chair. As he installed himself, Obi-Wan raised his eyes from the datapad, smiled to him and went back to his readings. Anakin made himself comfortable and sighed in contentment. Jedi may not be allowed to have 'homes', but to be here, alone with his former Master, it felt home enough for him. "Any predators we should worry about?" He asked, suppressing a yawn.

"Uhh…" Obi-Wan said, pressing several buttons on the metal device in his hands, searching for a certain specific information. "The report doesn't mention anything other than wild bears, wolves and boars, but they lived all the way up in the mountains, not close enough for us to get concerned. There is another thing, though…"

"What?" Anakin asked, suddenly interested.

Once again, Obi-Wan scrolled through the datapad. "Ah! Here… It says the population has a belief for a certain 'creature of the night'… But on the other hand, it is listed under 'beliefs and religions' and I won't be scared off by tellings and legends." He brushed off, the piece of information not seeming to affect him too much.

Anakin offered his former Master a sympathetic look as the man stretched his limbs on the couch. "You never believed in those things, did you?"

Obi-Wan sighed. "I'll respect anyone's beliefs as long as it doesn't interfere with someone's life. As for the rumored creatures, I'll believe it when my eyes will report it." He said, closing the data pad and tossing it aside, placing his hand in front of a yawn and rubbing his eyes. "Enough for tonight. I'll catch on the rest later."

Anakin smiled, sleepiness starting to catch him too. It was pretty late, and Obi-Wan had been deeply concentrated in those reports for several hours. The both of them would greatly appreciate a good night of sleep. "Understood. Good night, Master." He simply said before heading to his own room.

That night, Obi-Wan suddenly woke up from a dream, panting and in sweat, sitting straight on the mattress and staring at the wall facing his bed. Realizing exactly why he was in that kind of situation, he punched a pillow out of frustration. He had thought he was over this, especially at his age. But his body was screaming otherwise, heat running from his head to his toes, chills covering his pale skin and this _forsaken_ feeling of longing that had bothered him for the last 2 years. That _need_ that had suddenly struck out of nowhere and made his body believe it was still 18 years old. Feeling completely powerless, Obi-Wan fell back on the mattress, his body hitting the soft covers with a small thud, and whimpered in a second pillow to avoid being heard by _very_ curious ears.

Closing his eyes, he tried to send himself into a deep meditative state. Seeking the warm comfort of the Force had sometimes helped him to deal with this kind of… situation. To let his mind flow in the netherlands of the Force and to connect with it was sometimes enough to bring him out of his trance and let him go to sleep. But not tonight. In fact, not for the last nights, also. As comforting as the Force was, his screaming body always found a way to bring him back in reality, and tonight Obi-Wan knew he might need a shower to calm to be able to calm himself. And a very cold one, to say the least.

Reaching for the sleeping man in the bedroom at the other end of the apartment, Obi-Wan made sure that his friend was still sleeping deeply before attempting any kind of movement. Concentrating, he could hear the soft snores coming from the other bed and also feel the peace of slumber coming from the other man. Reassured, Obi-Wan threw the covers over his legs and rushed to the bedroom, locking the door behind him.

The cold water hit his shoulders, making him wince at first but replacing his senses one at a time like he had wanted. Taking a deep breath and urging his skin to stop shaking under the cold assault, he pressed his forehead against the shower's wall and closed his eyes. Slowly, his body calmed itself, the longing feeling washed out like dirt under the water and he finally felt in control of his thoughts again. Thank the Force, maybe he would be able to go back to bed and catch some much-needed sleep again…

Obi-Wan had always known he wasn't into women. In his Padawan years, he had always avoided conversations with the other males about their female counterparts. All of his friends were becoming so excited when they started to talk about one's hair or one's hips and if a boy was courageous enough he might have talked about one's breast. They all used to ask themselves stupid questions: what would she look like naked, if she would be loud or silent under their ministrations, if she would shave or keep it _au naturel_ … And then they would all look at Obi-Wan, waiting for his opinion on the matter. Of course, he would simply nod to satisfy their curiosity, even though he thought about one of them at night. Master Qui-Gon always said that it was normal and that he shouldn't be ashamed, but… looking at all his friends lusting after that cute Twi'lek Master sitting on the Council at the time, he had never felt more alone.

So he had learned to keep it all to himself. Since the Code forbade attachments of all kind, it hadn't very difficult to resist the temptation. Also, as they grew up into men with less raging hormones, the question of sex had become less and less important and at one point it flew simply off the table. One time he had shared a bed with another Padawan, discovering themselves and their desires away from judging eyes and cunning opinions. Sadly, the boy had managed to get himself killed on the battlefield before they could meet again. Obi-Wan had cried that night, as he had lost a dear friend and probably one of the only persons in the Temple who understood him. When Qui-Gon had knocked at his door, asked some questions, Obi-Wan had quickly whipped his tears and lied about a nightmare.

As all those memories rushed out of his mind, Obi-Wan dried himself and walked back to his bedroom. He shouldn't have looked. He had made so many efforts to avoid looking, to avoid temptation, but he had looked and now he was paying the price. Absolutely no one could know about this. Especially Anakin. No, Anakin could _never_ know.

How would the boy react if he ever discovered that his former Master was lusting after him?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2, hope you all enjoy :D

Anakin stared at the ceiling as dozens of different thoughts assaulted his mind at the same time. It was always like this in his head; pondering this, doubting that, thinking of this and forgetting that. And Obi-Wan had always wondered why his young apprentice always found it difficult to fall asleep. Lucky the older Jedi wasn't in his head, he would have turned mad by now. Even himself sometimes couldn't process exactly what his mind was trying to tell him. It was quite frustrating, to say the least.

Anakin always knew he loved Padmé. From the moment he had seen her enter that filthy shop he used to work in on Tattooine, he had known his love for her would be deep and true. His nine years old heart had exploded in his chest at the first sight of her, and the years that followed were filled with beautiful thoughts and dreams of her. Mission after mission, he would always wonder where she was, what she was doing, if she was even thinking of him… When they heard about anything that possibly could happen on Naboo, nervousness would always overcome the young Padawan while he fussed about the former Queen and her safety. Several times, Obi-Wan had had to snap him back to reality so the young Jedi could concentrate back on their mission. For Anakin, there had been no one _but_ her.

But at some point, the young nine years old innocent boy grew into a man and puberty came with it, hitting him hard enough to knock him out of his feet before he had the time to say 'Force'. But Anakin hadn't cared. It was only her who mattered, not matter what his body told him, no matter what his body desired. He had been completely blinded by love, or whatever conception he had of love at the time. When he had seen her in her personal quarters after ten long years of absence, he had been absolutely certain he was in love. Padmé was beyond beautiful, kind, intelligent and independent. What kind of fool would refuse her hand? Pounding heart, damp hands, breath caught in the throat and sweating, that were the signs of love…right?

When she had first refused his advances on the Lake Country on Naboo, he had felt lost, terribly alone. Suddenly, the only person who had filled his mind for so long was refusing him. Anakin had been so taken aback that he might have thought his heart was actually broken. Thinking about it today, it may have been more surprise and sudden solitude than a broken heart. Force knew he had been broken-hearted once, and that feeling could not even compare to what he had felt back on Naboo with the Senator.

There was only one other person as important in his life as Padmé had been. Obi-Wan, of course. The man who had taken him under his wings when he had all the rights to refuse. The man who had endured his bad temper too many times and still endured it today with a cool head, the man who was always ready to give him a smile and who would be present if he needed it. The Code might forbid attachment, but Anakin always knew he was deeply attached to his Master.

There was that one night. A night Anakin would never be able to forget, even if he tried. Him and Obi-Wan were both on mission on Boz Pitty, negotiating peace terms with the natives while he was still a Padawan. It was very late in the night and they all slept in tents not far from the native's land, Obi-Wan sleeping in the one just next to his. Maybe the older Jedi had thought he was asleep, but Anakin's light sleep had been disturbed by sounds of kissing. Not the soft kisses you give to the one you love, no. Kisses you give in the heat of passion, mixed with soft pant and sighs; he had been instantly out or slumber. Alerted, his first reflex had been to sit on his small mattress and call for his Master. But when he had realized the sounds were coming from his Master's tent right beside his, he had shut his mouth at once and had listened, holding his breath like a Padawan afraid of getting caught after the curfew. But he had also felt a pain deep in his chest as if a knife had cut deep right through his heart. For some reasons, he hadn't liked the idea of someone being _that_ close to his Master. At one point, the kissing had stopped and Obi-Wan had started to let out small sighs and discreet moans of pleasure, each one cutting deeper in Anakin's heart. The young Padawan had wondered how his Master's partner had managed to stay so silent. Even if he had listened carefully, there had been no clue as to who was sharing Obi-Wan's bed that night. He couldn't even tell if that person was male or female.

Since that night, Anakin had found himself with a weird obsession over that stranger who had had access to that part of Obi-Wan he had never suspected even existed before and had been desperate to find out who it was. Since asking questions to Obi-Wan about the subject would lead to absolutely nothing, he had made his own researches. Unfortunately, they came to a dead end and no matter what he did, he would probably never know who had shared his Master's bed that night. But being Anakin Skywalker, he certainly wasn't going to back down now. He still didn't know what sexual orientation his Master was. Why did he so desperately wanted to know, you might ask? He didn't even know himself. There was just that small part of his brain that couldn't seem to be able to live with this mystery. So he had observed Obi-Wan; how he interacted with women if his eyes changed when a beautiful girl passed by, if he ever brought someone into his personal quarters etc. But Obi-Wan was a very private man, always has been, and Anakin could not see anything of significance, nothing that could help him make assumptions, anyway.

In a desperate attempt to try to figure his Master out, Anakin had used his 'charms' to see if the older Jedi reacted to the sight of a man. Over the last few months, he had purposely flashed his chest whenever he could and had observed Obi-Wan's reactions. Unfortunately for him, the man wouldn't even get a glimpse of him. It was only yesterday when Anakin had asked questions, that the man had taken several seconds to 'look' at him. It was with a high level of frustration that Anakin couldn't see anything in his Master's eyes at that moment. If the man ever had a sexual life, he was definitely a pro at hiding it. For all he knew, what he had heard of Boz Pitty might have just been a dream…

When Padmé had kissed him right before entering the arena on Geonosis, Anakin has tagged along, happy to have someone who cared this much for him. When his lips had sealed with the ones belonging to the Senator, he had known that deep in his heart she was what he desperately needed. Anakin was different from the other Jedi in many ways, but his need for constant affection and attention was definitely something out of the box compared to the others. Anakin needed to be loved, and Padmé was there to provide it for him. When she had spoken of marriage, he had automatically said yes. She was the anchor he needed in his life, especially since the war had been declared.

But in the little times he could spend with the Senator, Anakin had noticed that something was out of place. Even if his mind was all over Padmé, his body didn't seem to agree. The first times they had tried to make love had been difficult and Anakin had blamed it on the stress of the War, which was perfectly reasonable since him and Obi-Wan were constantly thrown on the front lines not sure to even escape with their lives. But the more they tried, the more frustrated Anakin became not to be able to deliver the goods. And Padmé, who was so kind, had always told him it was alright, that she could live without it. But Anakin knew that deep inside, the woman was disappointed. One night he was able to make love to her, only, he wasn't thinking about her. When he had climaxed while thinking of a man, he had realized that his body had never wanted a woman to share his bed. That realization had struck him as hard as lightning. The Grand Anakin Skywalker, the Hero with No Fear, preferred men. No one could know, especially not Padmé. What would she say if she ever found out? She would certainly be insulted beyond reasons…

Unfortunately for him, the woman wasn't a fool. After several years spent on Anakin's side, she had begun to doubt something wasn't right. Especially on this night, as Anakin was completely silent, staring at the ceiling. Once again, tonight they haven't been able to make love.

"Anakin…" She started, hoping to get the man she loved out of his constant thoughts.

As soon as he heard his name and the way she had said it, Anakin knew there would be a conversation and he did not like the sound of it. He was already upset enough over his body not responding like he wanted it to that he wasn't sure he was ready for the 'talk' yet. He just wanted to close his eyes and sleep. But what was the point of waiting if their situation was nothing more than an unstoppable time-clicking bomb? Also, he respected Padmé almost more than anyone in the Galaxy, so he swallowed his frustration down. "Yes, honey?" He replied in a disinterested voice, still staring at the ceiling.

She sat in the large bed and placed a gentle hand on his arm. "Ani, I love you more than anyone in the galaxy, but this has been going on for too long. Please, what is going on?" She asked her voice as gentle and understanding as ever.

Blast it. He knew he would not have been able to hold onto his secret for long. He took a deep breath, not sure whether to respond honestly or not. The air around them suddenly became very tense. "I don't know." He replied, closing his eyes and turning his head away.

But the Senator wouldn't take that for an answer. She was used to dealing with other Senators who would do anything to try to hide the truth from her, she could certainly figure out what was bothering her husband. Well, she already had a doubt. A sad smile decorating her gentle features, she leaned closer to the Jedi Knight and replaced one of his stubborn curls behind his ear. "Please, don't shut me out. If there is something to say, best say it now." She declared while gently rubbing Anakin's large shoulder.

The Jedi sighed heavily and sat on the mattress so he would be at the same level than his wife. She was right, of course. He couldn't hide the fact that he was homosexual his whole life. Not only that, but he couldn't bear to see Padmé live unhappy by his side. Truths needed to be told. "I'm sorry, Padmé… I don't know how to say it…"

To his surprise, it was a smile that she offered him and not a frown. It was not a smile of happiness, of course, but a smile of understanding. "I love you, Anakin. If your body needs a male by its side, then you should probably get a male partner. It would be better for both of us." She remarked, looking deep into the Jedi's eyes with a serious look.

Anakin was taken slightly aback. "How did you know?" He asked, surprised. He barely accepted it himself, and besides, he had never even slept with a man. How in the world did Padmé know about it?

The Senator chuckled under her breath. "A woman can unlock many secrets in her life. I knew the moment you made love to me for the first time. You weren't present, you were with someone else in your mind. I hoped it would be just a phase, but I suppose it is not…"

Even if she was telling the truth, there was a small part of him crying out that he was doing a huge mistake. Letting Padmé go felt as bad as the small heart attack you have before dropping your most precious possession to the floor. The anchor of his life was fading away from his grasp. "But I love you, Padmé, with all my heart…" He retorted, his voice bearing a tang of despair.

"And I love you, too. But we both know we won't be able to last like this." Padmé simply replied, lowering her eyes to the blue cover of the bed.

Anakin looked away too, defeated. "I suppose… I just… I want you to be happy."

Padme lifted her glance but stared in front of her. It was obvious that this conversation was as hard for her that it was for him. "I want someone who will like what he'll see when my dress hits the floor, I want a father to my future children, someone who will think about me in bed. I love you Anakin. Truly, I do. But if we want to be happy, we better stop now before it's too late for both of us."

Suddenly panicked, Anakin turned over to face her, a deep frown on his face. Slowly, he lifted his hand to cradle her gentle face, relieved to see her lean in the small caress. "I don't want to lose you…" He whispered, his heart jumping at how weak his voice sounded.

Sighing heavily, she took his hand and placed it back on his side, receiving a devastated look from the Jedi in return. Padmé's heart hurt, but it was the right thing to do. They were lying to themselves and the fact that they had to constantly hide to avoid being caught by the Jedi Order was only adding to their problem pile. It had to stop now, or they might go down a dangerous path. "I'm sorry." Was all she was able to say.

Anakin didn't know what to say. Almost twelve years of love and admiration for Padmé and suddenly it was all gone. He could not explain how he was feeling. How are you supposed to feel when you lose something you've had for so long? When he dared to look at Padmé, tears were rolling down her face. Sad to see her this way, he made a move to console her, but she stopped him. He stayed in bed, frozen as the love of his life, the sun of his days and the stars of his nights lifted herself from the mattress and started leaving the room. Before she passed the door, she turned around and gave him a sad smile. "You're my best friend, Ani. I'm sorry things didn't work out between us. You'll always be welcome here." She said before turning around to avoid his gaze. He could see her shoulder shaking from sobs she was obviously trying to hide.

Before she left the room, she faced him again. "I'm going to ask you to leave for tonight, Ani. I need some time to recompose myself…" She added in a shaking voice as discreet tears fell from her eyes.

Stumped, Anakin nodded before falling back on the mattress, not sure how to react. He wanted to cry, wanted to scream and laugh at the same time. Confused beyond reason, he simply got out of bed, put on his Jedi tunics and left.

When he entered his quarters back at the Temple, he was surprised to find his former Master still awake, plunged in the report they had received the last day once again. In fact, Obi-Wan seemed surprised to see him too and was looking at him with a frown. "Anakin?" He called as he put the datapad he was reading aside.

Anakin's voice was tight in his throat, but he decided to overthrow it. Swallowing his sadness, his grief and burying it deep within the layers of his heart, he managed to smile. "Hey, Master…" He responded to the man's old title out of habit.

The frown on the older Jedi's face deepened. Anakin had obviously failed at trying to hide his emotions. He rarely succeeded at that task, to be honest. "Is everything alright?" The older man asked with concern in his voice as his former Padawan didn't look so well.

The younger Jedi hesitated. His relation with Padmé had always been a secret, so he couldn't just declare that he was getting divorced. He couldn't really say he wasn't feeling so well either because his former Master would ask questions, which he really didn't want to answer right now. "I'm fine. Tired." He lied.

Obi-Wan closed the datapad down and gesture for Anakin to sit in his usual chair. Exhausted, Anakin didn't complain and accepted the offer. While he slumped in the chair, Obi-Wan lifted himself from his, went to the small kitchen and came back with a cup of tea, offering it to his tired former Padawan. "Drink this, it'll make you feel better." He recommended while pressing a hand on Anakin's forehead. "No fever… Are you feeling sick? Because you're certainly not looking well. You're pale, your eyes seem…unfocused."

Anakin managed a smile and chuckled under his breath as Obi-Wan's hand continued to search a fever that didn't exist on his forehead. "I assure you, Master, I'm fine." He exclaimed at the man's over-protectiveness.

Obi-Wan shook his head and pinched his lips, removing his hand from the younger man's head. "That's what you always say hours before falling hopelessly sick and I have to take care of your _whiny_ ass. Give me one reason why I should believe you." The older man snapped back before kneeling in front of Anakin who didn't know where to look to avoid his Master's gaze.

"Even if I _was_ falling sick, what's the problem?" The younger Jedi asked him.

Obi-Wan looked away and let out a long sigh. "Anakin, we're leaving for Neropta tomorrow first hour. I'm about to share quarters with you for Force knows how long. If you're indeed sick, best for you to stay here and keep your germs to yourself. I'm not looking forward to a trip with you constantly complaining because you're ill."

Right. The mission. In his despair of losing the woman he had loved for so long, Anakin had completely forgotten about his upcoming mission with Obi-Wan. He could ask Obi-Wan to scan him through the Force to prove that he wasn't about to get sick, but his heart was broadcasting so hard right now, Obi-Wan would be able to feel what was going on in his heart right now. That meant another long discussion with his former Master and probably a scold with it. A heavy one. Come on Anakin, think…

In front of his former Padawan's silence, Obi-Wan's expression softened. He knew that Anakin always had troubles dealing with his emotions. Sometimes, he had to admit that he might be a little bit hard on the man. Anakin was no ordinary Jedi; he was the Chosen one and when the Council had accepted him within the Order's rank, they had to accept the man's emotion rollercoaster. At nine years old, it was too late to try to teach him the attachment rule. Obi-Wan couldn't say he hadn't tried, but at some point, he came to realize that Anakin would stay Anakin, no matter what he would try to say on the matter.

Which was good, because he loved Anakin that way.

Looking at the younger man who stared down at his feet, still battering with his feelings, Obi-Wan concentrated and reached for him through the Force, not far enough to invade his privacy, but just to brush his Force's signature against his own, to get a glimpse of what Anakin was experiencing in order to be able to help him in any way he could.

As soon as he knew what was going on, he drew back, not wishing to invade his former Padawan's mind any further. Anakin was upset. More than upset, in fact; his heart was shattered to pieces and the poor man tried to cope with it without showing any of it. Obi-Wan sighed and placed a gentle hand on Anakin's knee. Somehow, he knew that whatever happened probably implied Senator Amidala. Anakin's relationship with the former Queen made things… complicated. At some point, he knew it was his duty to guide his former Padawan away from any kind of attachments; Yoda had already scolded him several times because he failed at that very task. But at the same time, Obi-Wan knew that taking attachments away from Anakin would only hurt him even more.

And Obi-Wan would do anything to keep Anakin's heart from breaking. If only Yoda knew how much he has attached himself to the young boy…

"I sense a great deal of emotions coming from you, old Padawan…" He began, rising to his feet as Anakin still stared down at his cup of tea. "If you don't want to talk about it, I understand. Just be careful how you handle them, alright?"

Raising his gaze from the hot beverage still in his arms, Anakin looked at his Master with a grateful look. "Thank you, Master." He replied, managing a smile as his heart calmed itself down for the first time in the last five minutes.

Obi-Wan gave him a warm smile. "Just Obi-Wan. We're equals now, Anakin. Let there be no boundaries between us."

Anakin wanted to frown at his Master's sudden kindness but hold himself back at the last second. Of course, Obi-Wan was a very kind man, always has been, but he also had that annoying habit of putting Anakin back at his place, constantly reminding him who was the Master and who was the student. "Obi-Wan…" Anakin said aloud, his Master's first name rolling off his tongue leaving a strange but not unpleasant feeling behind. It sounded soft to his ears, and he found himself to love how it echoed in his mind.

There was a moment of silence when the two men just stared at each other, finding comfort in the other's company, Obi-Wan hand's still unconsciously caressing Anakin's knee. Looking at the gentle glance of his former Master, Anakin found his breath to get slightly caught in his throat. He had never truly realized how reassuring and beautiful Obi-Wan's eyes were, in a deep blue shade mixed with sparkles of gray. His aching heart twisted in a weird way in his chest as his gaze explored the rest of Obi-Wan's face; his nose, his lips…

_No_. This could not be. His broken heart was playing tricks on him and his need for constant attention was already kicking in. He could not afford to fall for his Master. The man would be disgusted and would probably try to separate them. Frankly, Anakin would rather swallow his feelings down than having Obi-Wan look at him differently than he was looking at him right now. Not to mention the Code… Obi-Wan was probably the one Jedi in the entire Temple who respected the code by the letter. Trying to start any kind of relationship that went beyond friendship was already a lost cause with Obi-Wan. Sure, he could try to seduce his Master into more physical practices, since those weren't forbidden, but Anakin was a man of heart. He would only give his body to someone he loved and who would love him in return…

He had to stop looking at Obi-Wan like that. He needed a distraction to break the visual contact between the two of them, or he would lose himself in Obi-Wan's gentle eyes. Looking at the datapad the man had left on the table behind, he nodded towards it. "Found anything else in there?" He asked in a voice he wished was more composed than that.

Taken by surprise by Anakin's sudden question, Obi-Wan seemed to snap out of his trance and swiftly removed his hand from the younger Jedi's knee before clearing his throat. "Yes, um…" He baffled before getting back on his feet to settle on the couch again, "Well, I found out why the Senate is so eager for us to make the first contact…" He replied, back to his normal self.

Anakin frowned. "What is it?"

Obi-Wan opened the datapad again and opened a holofile showing the many mountains on the surface of Neropta; several areas were marked in green. "The surface of the mountains there are very rich in quantanorium, a metal very rare which has the qualities of being very tough and light at the same time. The Senate wanted to manufacture it to reinforce our Clone's armor, but couldn't find it in sufficient amount to do so. I have the feeling that this is the main reason the republic wants to have this planet in its ranks." Obi-Wan professionally explained as his old Padawan grimaced at this very corrupt Senate practice.

"I agree that we must do everything in our power in order to win this War…" Anakin began, taking a small sip of his tea; wild berries, Obi-Wan always knew his favorite tastes. "But this tendency to ally ourselves with worlds only to exploit them… it makes me feel uneasy."

"I can only agree…" Obi-Wan nodded, his eyes still stuck to the hologram flashing before them. "Let's just hope we'll be able to find a diplomatic agreement between the two parties."

Even though he had moved the conversation subject away from his feelings, Anakin still had troubles to keep them to himself. He felt so alone right now; he hadn't been used to have no one to turn for comfort. Obi-Wan was always there when he needed it, but what was he supposed to do when the source of his broken heart was something well known to be forbidden in their way of life? He simply could not ask for Obi-Wan's help; he would risk too much and right now, the Jedi were his only family left. He could not risk that.

"I, um…" He mumbled looking down at his now empty cup, "I'm going to go to bed, Oni-Wan. I need some sleep. Thanks for the tea."

Again, Obi-wan looked at him with concern in his eyes. "Very well."

The older Jedi winced as he looked at his former Padawan go to his bedroom with his head down. Whatever had happened had left the boy unbalanced, broken and lost. Closing the datapad and calling it a night, he felt the urge to do something, _anything_ , to help the man. He also felt a pang of anger at whoever did this to his boy…

He chuckled under his breath. His boy. Anakin wasn't _his_ boy.

Nighttime quickly came and Anakin couldn't sleep. Both his bed and his heart felt terribly empty. He knew he was somehow broadcasting his feelings, but he knew he couldn't completely shield them up.

In a situation like this, he would have gone to Padmé's apartment while Obi-Wan was asleep and she would have offered him the comfort he needed. Just the soft sensation to be in someone's arms was enough to send him to sleep, but now there was no one. He would have to get used to sleeping completely alone and to shut down his need for physical contact. He would have to live like a true Jedi now. That declaration might sound honorable at first, but Anakin was no ordinary Jedi…

Since he was alone at last, Anakin finally cracked. Uncontrollable sobs took over his body and he quickly hid his face in his pillow to muffle the sound as hot tears started to flow on his cheeks. Crazy thoughts and idea started to run wildly through his head; leaving the Jedi Order, leaving Obi-Wan, leaving everything… He knew that Padmé was better off without him and that he would never be able to be the husband she needed him to be. He felt like he had already accepted this idea a long time ago. When his mother had died in his arms, he had tasted the bitterness of loneliness. Even after being separated from her for a decade, there was still the idea that his mother was back home, still alive, still loving him. Whatever he did beside Obi-Wan, he knew that she would be proud of him. But she had been taken away as fast as she had been brought back to him. It had felt so sudden, so unreal...

Padmé had been there. He had spent the following night crying in her arms while she had gently shushed him while caressing his back. In fact, she had always been there for him and he would forever be grateful for that, but now? Who was he supposed to turn to? Two of the most important persons in his life were now out of reach and the other probably won't understand his position…

Would he be able to live all by himself like that?

The door of his bedroom suddenly opened and Anakin quickly hid his wet cheeks in his pillow. He heard Obi-Wan sleepy but gentle voice seconds after. "I thought I had taught you to shield better than that, my young Padawan…" He stated, referring to the younger man's emotional broadcast.

Anakin sniffed and cleared his throat, still keeping his face away from his former Master and automatically raised his shields as high as they could possibly get. "I'm sorry… I'll try to do better." He croaked, his voice muffled by the pillow.

There was a small silence in the room followed by Obi-Wan sighing and shaking his head. His former Padawan was hurting badly and he needed to do something about it. Standing there watching the younger Jedi avoiding his gaze while his shoulders jumped once in a while in quiet sobs, Obi-Wan sincerely didn't know what to do. The logical, rational part of his brain to him to scold the boy, to teach him a lesson about attachment like he used to do. Even if Anakin refused to tell him the truth, he knew that Senator Amidala was somehow involved in this. Anakin might think he was discreet, but he actually wasn't and Obi-Wan thanked the Force that the Council was still blind to it. Seeing his former Padawan in pain like that was the perfect opportunity to prove a point he's been desperately trying to make since he had taken the young boy as his apprentice.

But another part of his brain, more like another part of his heart made him scold himself to think to say such things. Anakin would never be able to follow the Code by the letter like he had been trying to do all his life and that didn't make the boy a lesser person. In fact, the Order was damn lucky to have him in his ranks, as he had saved their asses several times during the beginning of the War and even before that. At this point, it was almost pointless to try to teach Anakin to act by the Code. It would be like going against the current of the river. In fact, scolding him right now was probably the worst thing to do and would probably bring the boy to fall in even darker emotions. And that was the last thing Obi-Wan wished to do.

And, frankly, is Obi-Wan was completely honest with himself, a huge part of his heart just wanted to screw the Code for an instant and _be there_ for his former Padawan. In fact, his heart twisted in his chest as he found himself with the desire to just take Anakin in his arms, hush him out gently, let him cry on his shoulders and tenderly caress his back, whispering that everything would be okay…

Anakin felt a shiver run down his spine when he felt the mattress of his bed shift slightly under his Master's weight and sighed and he felt a gentle hand on his hip. "Anakin…" He heard the older man say, "Please, tell me what's going on. It pains me greatly to see you suffering like this…"

Anakin took a shaking breath as yet another tear escaped his eyes. "I'm sorry Master… I don't think you would understand." He replied in a choked voice, his throat still tight from the emotional shock. How could Obi-Wan understand his sudden loneliness? How could he understand that in the space of 15 minutes, the emotional anchor of his life was gone?

Obi-Wan lowered his eyes, defeated, his hand still on the younger man's hip. "Is there anything I can do to help?" He asked, sincere. If he had to break the Code for the night, he would do it. He just wanted to make Anakin feel better. He simply couldn't stand looking at him like that and feel his sadness through the Force.

Anakin froze in his position at Obi-Wan's words. Usually, the man would just scold him for not being able to control his emotions and to be honest, his Master's sudden attention for him surprised him a little. He blinked several times as a not unpleasant feeling settled in his chest and heat slowly rose on his back. Just to make sure he wasn't dreaming, he reached for Obi-Wan through the Force only to find complete and genuine truth in his words. Could he actually ask Obi-Wan for what he needed?

As if he had felt his silent question, Obi-Wan smiled and gave Anakin's hip a gentle rub. "Anything, Anakin."

The younger Jedi felt his cheeks blush violently for reasons he couldn't truly understand and he swallowed heavily at the fear of being rejected. Gathering his courage, he shifted on the mattress to leave some space behind him. "Stay with me… Please?"

Obi-Wan looked at the now empty space in the bed just beside Anakin and suddenly a small voice in his head screamed to back away, that this was a dangerous game to play. Who knew who his body and his heart would react at this close contact with the younger man? The voice urged him to reason, ordered him to refuse Anakin's invitation, stay safe and go back to sleep in his own room.

But tonight, Obi-Wan decided to ignore the voice.

Throwing the covers over, he swiftly slid under them, settling on his side, facing Anakin's back. He could feel his face blushing due to the sudden proximity with the young man and he thanked the Force Anakin had decided to wear a shirt to bed. Even though their bodies weren't directly touching, Obi-Wan could already feel Anakin relaxing a little and his occasional sobs calming down a little. Anakin was his best friend. If he needed someone by his side in tough times, it was the least he could do. "I'm right here, Anakin. Try to go to sleep, now."

The boy nodded, sighed and shifted under the blanket into a more comfortable position. As for Obi-Wan, he closed his eyes and tried to calm his pounding heart deep in his chest. Thinking about it, he had never been this close to the young Jedi, not in that kind of circumstances, anyway. After several minutes of just lying there by Anakin's side, he came to realize that it felt quite nice to have another warm body next to you. Actually, Obi-Wan surprised himself once again as he found himself wondering what it would feel like if he snuggled just a little bit closer so that Anakin's back would slightly rub against his chest, how would Anakin react if he gently wrapped his arms around the younger man's chest and placed tender kisses on his shoulder blade, how would Anakin's hair smell like if he could just brush his nose against it…

Opening his eyes in shock at those thoughts, Obi-Wan composed himself and shook his head. Almost afraid the boy next to him would feel his thoughts, his raised his shields as high as he could and tried to focus on anything _but_ Anakin. If his mind continued to wander off like that, it would be a very long night, indeed…

The young boy must have sensed something coming from him, because he shifted on the mattress so he would be lying on his other side, facing him. Obi-Wan was disappointed to see that he was not sleeping, but couldn't help but feel a bit of pity as he saw Anakin's red, buffy eyes as he stared at him. There were no more tears, but the sadness in Anakin's eyes was all the more present. It was as if something in Anakin died, or disappeared. The twinkle Obi-Wan was so used to see in his former Padawan's gaze was gone and he already missed it. Almost unconsciously, Obi-Wan replaced a stubborn curl in Anakin hair with the tip of his fingers. "Sometimes I wish I could understand what's going on in that big, crazy head of yours…" Obi-Wan whispered while continuing to gently stroke Anakin's hair without even realizing it.

Anakin offered Obi-Wan his first sincere smile of the evening and sighed under the man's gentle ministration in his scalp, closing his eyes under the wonderful sensation. "Trust me… Sometimes I wish I could understand it, too."

Obi-Wan smiled and retrieved his hand, much to Anakin's disappointment. "I don't really know what happened to put you in such a state, but just know that I'll always be there for you when you need it, alright?"

Anakin nodded and smiled back. "Thank you, Obi-Wan."

The bed was a little bit small for two grown men, but both of them didn't seem to mind how close they actually were to each other. Lying there and facing each other, their faces were mere inches apart, their noses almost brushing together. They could feel the warm breath of the other gently brush their features and, even though they would deny it, they loved the feeling of intimacy their position brought. Staring right into the blue of Anakin's eyes, Obi-Wan couldn't help but find him… beautiful. No, that would be an understatement. Anakin was stunning, he looked like a god. If only he could tell him…

At one point, the younger man's eyes became heavy and Obi-Wan noticed. "Sleep, Anakin. I'll be there when you wake up."

Almost instantly, the boy was fast asleep.

Obi-Wan woke up feeling warm, embraced, loved. Sighing into the wonderful feeling, he tried to snuggle closer to it, not daring to open his eyes in case it was all a dream. Something, or someone, was laying on his chest and was hugging him tightly into an intimate embrace. Obi-Wan could say that this was a premiere in his life and frankly, he loved it. His first reaction was to wrap the larger body in his arms and keep him close. If he listened to his heart, he would place a gentle kiss on top of the head that was sleeping soundly on his shoulder-

Hold on. Sleeping on his shoulder?!

Alerted, Obi-Wan opened his eyes wide and the body laying against him was keeping him from jerking away from the mattress. Quickly analyzing his surroundings, he came to realize that within the night, him and Anakin had unconsciously snuggled into each other and not just in any position; Anakin was sleeping against his left side, both of his arms wrapped around his chest, one leg holding his hips and his face on top of his shoulder, his lips centimetres away from his neck. He could feel the boy's even breathing brushing against the tender skin there and it instantly sent a wave of shivers down Obi-Wan's spine. This was not appropriate for a Master and his former apprentice, this was a lover's embrace for crying out loud! Not to mention that he had his own arm was around Anakin's back and his hand was tangled in the boy's hair.

Panicked, Obi-Wan tried to form a plan to get out of there asap. Anakin couldn't see them like that. Pressing two fingers to the boy's forehead, he sent the most powerful sleep suggestion he could through the Force to make sure he would sleep for at least another hour. It seemed like the thrust Anakin had in his former Master eased the way and the younger Jedi was soon back in a really deep slumber. Then, Obi-Wan quickly and swiftly got out of bed, leaving the bedroom in a rush.

As soon as he arrived in their shared living room, he sat in his usual spot on the chair and placed a hand on his mouth in shock. He was snuggling with Anakin. Just the thought of it made him moan softly and shiver. What the kriff had happened in the night for them to end up so close?!

No, no, no. This was bad. To Obi-Wan, it was crucial that Anakin couldn't know about this. He would wake for his former Padawan to wake up and pretend like it didn't happen. That should do the trick.

But what he didn't know was that Anakin had woken up during the night, realizing the compromising position they were both in. Afraid of his Master's reaction, he had tried to get away from Obi-Wan's embrace as discreetly as he could, but the sleeping man and only tightened his embrace around him, softly saying his name in his dreams. Completely struck dumb, Anakin had placed his head on the man's shoulder, a huge blush on his face and a thick knot in his heart. Not able to remove the dreamy smile on his face, Anakin had fallen asleep again with all kinds of news feelings for the man in his arms.

Obi-Wan may have put him back into deep sleep, but right now the only thing that occupied Anakin's dream was Obi-Wan's smile.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our two boys start to figure things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, yay!! :D Thank you to those who left comments! I'm still figuring out this website, I'll reply to you as soon as I can :)

The cruiser rumbled softly under Anakin’s feet as it coursed into hyperspace on a direct route to the Neropta system. The twenty-one hours journey it would take to reach their destination had begun that morning; after confirming their cargo and the presence of every single trooper in the battalion accompanying them, Obi-Wan had ordered the jump to light speed. This was not the first reconnaissance mission Anakin was performing with his former Master. In fact, since Obi-Wan was so skilled in negotiation, reconnaissance missions were probably their specialty by now.

Considering it was their first contact with the planet, he and Obi-Wan would land with only a couple of troopers as their companions, not wanting to scare or send the wrong message to this new population who should soon join the Republic. The rest of the battalion would stay in orbit, just in case something went wrong. The two Jedi would then negotiate terms with the local authorities and, if a treaty was signed, a territory would likely be offered as a Republic military base. Only then would the rest of the battalion land on the planet. If everything went as planned, he and Obi-Wan would fly back to Coruscant in ten days’ time, leaving the task of building the Republic base to the responsible Troopers. Maybe then they could get some much needed rest…

Anakin sighed heavily and looked at one of the large windows in the command center, the flashing blue lights of hyperspace dancing in front of his eyes, completely obvious to what was happening around him. They had already been debriefed about the mission and there was still a long way to go before they landed. Right now, there was only one thing on the Jedi knight’s mind: the fact that, ever since he woke up that morning, Obi-Wan had been avoiding him like the plague.

This was completely against the Jedi Master’s usual behavior. For so many years, he and Obi-Wan had been so close is every part of their lives, sharing quarters, every meal, sparring sessions, you name it. Everyone in the Jedi Order knew they did everything together. For Anakin, Obi-Wan had always been the lever of his life as a Jedi and his partner. Having the man run away from him like that was making him feel… uneasy.

Was the Jedi Master he cared for so much doing this willingly? Anakin hoped not, but it was difficult to tell. First, he had woken up completely alone in his bed that morning, the feeling of the cold sheets at his side sending a pang of loneliness in his heart. Second, as soon as he had placed a foot in the kitchen, his former Master had rapidly finished his breakfast before quickly exiting their quarters, telling him he had to meet with the Council before their departure. Also, as they were boarding the large cruiser, each time he had tried to approach Obi-Wan, the man had quickly given him a task to do before Anakin had had the time to say anything. Every single time.

Anakin sighed and his gaze dropped to the floor. He had thought that the jump to hyperspace might have given him the chance to speak to his Master, but no matter who he asked, the man was nowhere to be found. Of course, he had contacted him on his comlink but the only response his former Master had given him had been "We’ll talk later, Anakin. I’m busy." and closing the communication before Anakin could say a word. It broke the young man’s heart a little.

He was so deep in his thoughts that when a gentle hand gave him a pat on his shoulders, he practically jumped three feet high. When he turned around he was faced with his own personal commander, Captain Rex. "General Skywalker, everything alright?" The blond clone asked, raising an eyebrow, clearly not expecting such a reaction for the Jedi Knight.

Anakin took a breath to calm his racing heart and plastered a smile on his face. "Of course, Rex. You just scared me a little."

The Clone commander chuckled lightly and placed himself at the side of his friend. "I see; it is an honor not given to many people across the galaxy…"

Anakin scoffed. The galaxy might call him The Hero with No Fear, but fear was part of his daily life. He just knew how to hide it well. Right now, all his fears were directed towards Obi-Wan. He knew, deep in his heart, that the man might be uncomfortable because of last night. He wasn’t stupid: since he woke up alone that morning, there was a chance Obi-Wan might have realized their position at some point and fled to his own room in the night. Two Jedi cuddling like they did was not permitted, even scandalous since they were former Master and Padawan. But Anakin being Anakin, his heart skipped a beat each time his body remembered Obi-Wan’s strong arms around him. It had felt so right; like he had belonged in his Master’s embrace all along. Just being close to him like that, listening to his soft breathing had been better than everything he had ever done with Padmé before.

Again, Anakin sighed heavily. What kind of fool was he hoping to catch the heart of Obi-Wan? The man had made it clear that he wasn’t interested in entering a relationship. Even if Anakin could clearly remember that night on Boz Pitty where he had possibly heard the man having sex in the next tent, the Jedi Code was probably keeping the idea of love completely out of Obi-Wan’s mind…

Once again, it was Rex who took him out of his mind. "Maybe you should get some sleep, General. We will land in about seven hours and, to be honest, you look like bantha poodoo. We have things covered, here."

Anakin looked at Rex and nodded. Rex had a point, he _was_ tired. "You may be right, Rex, I could use some sleep. When was the last time you saw Obi-Wan?"

Rex frowned and stroked his chin, searching for a valuable answer. "I saw him at the cantina about fifteen minutes ago. He was speaking with commander Cody."

"Thanks, Rex," he said as he exited the command center, leaving his friend in charge. He had one goal in his mind, and for now, it wasn’t to sleep. He would talk to Obi-Wan before going to bed, no matter if the man wanted it or not.

At the other end of the Cruiser, Obi-Wan walked in an empty corridor, rubbing his temple with two fingers. Stopping in his tracks, he cursed. Staying with Anakin last night had been the biggest mistake of his life. Even though he had spent the day doing his best to stay away from the young man, his heart was aching to see him again and his mind utterly refused to think about anything else. He had thought that avoiding Anakin for a couple of hours might have helped him cope with the warm feeling in his heart that had suddenly appeared that morning when he had realised he was snuggled up to his former Padawan. It didn’t help at all, in fact the feeling only got worse by the hour. Frustrated, Obi-Wan turned to face the wall and gave it an angry hit. "Kenobi, you foolish old man…" He whispered to himself. Anakin was kriffing married, and he was dumb enough to have feelings for him. The young man belonged in Padmé’s arms and certainly not in his. He was so focused on his own thoughts that he didn’t see the tall figure rushing towards him.

"There you are! I’ve been searching for you all day, Obi-Wan!" Anakin said, his tone slightly angry.

When he heard his former Padawan’s voice, Obi-Wan jumped out of his skin and looked at the taller man with wide eyes. He wasn’t prepared to face Anakin, not yet. Instantly, he backed up several steps, trying his best to avoid eye contact with the man. "Anakin… Can this wait? I have to-" He stumbled on his words, completely out of reasons to give his former Padawan. He had been keeping himself away from him all day, after all. Obi-Wan just hoped Anakin hadn’t noticed…

The taller man walked faster and went to place himself right in front of Obi-Wan’s path, keeping the older man from escaping. His face expressed impatience, anger, the kind of emotion that was typical of Anakin when he didn’t get what he wanted. "You’ve been avoiding me, Master. I want to know what going on!"

Blast it. Obi-Wan’s mind rushed as he tried his best to come out with an excuse or basically anything that could satisfy the man’s curiosity until he could come up with a better explanation for his odd behavior. His heart pumped in his chest as he looked in those eyes flaring with kept anger, those lips pouting… Force did Anakin knew how beautiful he was? "I’m sorry Anakin, I’ve been very busy. I was on my way to speak with Commander Cody, so if you’ll please excuse me…"

Obi-Wan made a move to pass beside Anakin, but the larger man blocked him again, crossing his arms over his chest. "You talked to Cody minutes ago, Master. Captain Rex saw you." he challenged, taking one step forward while his former Master took two steps back. Determined to get the answers he sought, Anakin pointed to the communicator attached to the older man’s leather belt. "If you truly need to speak to Cody _again_ , you have your comlink. Use it."

Obi-Wan looked down at his communicator in an attempt to hide the panic look that was probably very obvious in his eyes. Anakin was completely right: he had talked to Cody merely minutes ago and the Commander would most likely make a face if he contacted him again on such short notice. His former Padawan had him busted. Obi-Wan almost laughed at himself thinking about how he could always keep a straight face in front of his enemies, but not in front of his old Padawan. No, he could never completely hide anything from Anakin, even if he tried. It broke his heart having to lie to the young man’s face like that, but it had to be done.

His voice tone was harsher than he wanted when he spoke again. "Anakin, I do not appreciate this attitude of yours. No matter what you think, I’m still your superior and I have _nothing_ to answer to you. Now, I would appreciate if you would kindly let me go back to my business to ensure this mission goes smoothly." He snapped, instantly regretting it.

The boy he cared for so much looked like he had just been stabbed, looking at him with a mix of hurt and confusion. Obi-Wan expected him to answer back, but to his deception, the young boy didn’t add anything, just stared at him with eyes Obi-Wan knew would haunt him for the next week. Force, he didn’t want to hurt his boy, but what choice did he have?

Deciding it probably was best to end the conversation, Obi-Wan sighed heavily and turned around, not wanting to face the taller man. "Get some rest, Anakin. We’ll talk later." He murmured as he started walking down the corridor again, concentrating on keeping his posture stable: he couldn’t afford to let his former Padawan know how somber he was feeling right now. It took all his self-control not to just turn around and hug and apology out of the taller man.

"It’s because of last night, is it?"

As soon as the words were processed in Obi-Wan’s brain, he froze. Yes, it was exactly because of last night and he had hoped Anakin would have never brought the subject up. But he did, and now Obi-Wan was trapped, needing to answer for his actions last night. His heart pounded madly in his chest as he stared in front of him, his body suddenly attacked by cold sweats. Ironic to think that he had never felt nervous like this in a long time, considering the many dangerous missions he had been on recently.

His breath caught in his throat when he heard and sensed Anakin walking closer, placing himself just mere centimeters from his body. He could feel the radiant warmth coming from the man and the reassuring energy he always broadcasted and Obi-Wan surprised himself with the urging desire to just lean back and relax in it. This wasn’t good. He had to keep repeating to himself that Anakin was a married man and that no matter what happened, the Jedi Code would always come in their way.

Anakin wasn’t stupid. He had clearly seen his former Master’s reaction at his word and had instantly known he had touched a nerve. As he walked closer to the older Jedi, he could sense the smaller body getting tense. So it _was_ because of last night after all. He needed to know what his Master was feeling almost as badly as he needed air to breathe. He even tried to get a glimpse of what the man was thinking, but Obi-Wan had raised his mental shield to the point where Anakin couldn’t even penetrate the man’s mind. "You stayed with me last night, Master…"

Obi-Wan swallowed. "You were hurting, my friend. It is only natural for me to try to ease your pain."

Anakin shook his head and took his Master’s shoulders gently, turning him around so he could face him. Obi-Wan’s eyes went straight to the floor, though, and Anakin knew he had to speak up. He couldn’t keep the questions bottled up anymore. "Obi-Wan, I…" he wanted to curse at his hesitation, but that wouldn’t help his case. "You took me in your arms last night. You… cuddled me…"

"We were sleeping, Anakin. I can’t control myself while I sleep." Obi-Wan replied on the defensive.

Anakin literally felt his heart break in two. "So you’re saying it wasn’t intentional?"

Obi-Wan looked at him and had to force the word out of his mouth. "Yes."

Anakin looked like he’d been gutted and Obi-Wan felt confusion run all over his body. Anakin was… hurt by his statement? That didn’t make any sense! Obi-Wan had expected relief to flash over the young man’s beautiful face. Relief that his old Master wasn’t having some weird feelings for him, or something! Obi-Wan couldn’t help but frown as he looked at Anakin who was obviously trying (and failing) to hide his pain.

When Anakin found his voice again, it shuddered. "So you don’t… feel anything for… for me?" He asked, hesitant and lost.

Obi-Wan could not believe his ears. Anakin was openly asking him if he had feelings for him! Of course, he did! He had been having them for a long time, but the boy couldn’t know that! Obviously, something happened to make his former Padawan feel like that. Obi-Wan had always known the younger man was the kind to need physical and emotional attachment in order to stay stable and he had always made sure to give it to him at the back of the Council, but this?! No, this was impossible. Something must have happened that was making Anakin desperate for affection, making him delusional. Obi-Wan discreetly shook his head and buried his feelings at the back of his mind. There was no way Anakin could have feelings for him like that. He couldn’t afford to give in, express his feelings only to have Anakin push him away when he felt better.

Clearing his throat, Obi-Wan dared to look at Anakin again. "Anakin, the Code-"

"I don’t care about the kriffing Code right now, Master. I just need to know." Anakin snapped back, his shoulders tensed.

Obi-Wan wanted to scold his former Padawan for brushing the Code away like he did, but decided not to comment. "Anakin, last night… Last night just wanted to offer you some comfort. I care about you and you know it: it hurt me to see you in pain like you were. But I live by the Jedi Code, Anakin. I can’t afford to let myself have feelings of this kind. Even if I did have feelings, I… I couldn’t. I’m sorry." He said, knowing that at least there was some truth in his statement. He felt bad for lying to Anakin about his feelings for him, but he did know that he couldn’t get himself into a relationship. Not because the Code forbade it, but because he knew that the only person he would ever get in a relationship with was happy and married with Senator Amidala. Anakin might be hurting and needing some affection right now, but Obi-Wan knew better than admitting what his heart felt for just a phase the young man was going through.

Anakin lowered his eyes to the floor and sighed. What a fool he was. His Master was too good of a Jedi to even consider breaking the Code’s rules and it was now obvious that the older man didn’t feel anything for him. He felt tears prickle at his eyes but fought them back. Right now, he truly felt alone in the entire Galaxy. He could reach to his Master for comfort, but he knew that after this conversation the older man might be cautious about his actions when it came to affection. Slowly, he turned around. "I’m sorry to have disturbed you, Master. I’ll go get some rest, now."

Obi-Wan’s heart ached at he looked at his former Padawan walking away. "Sleep well, Padawan." He whispered, knowing the man probably couldn’t hear him. Sighing heavily, he leaned his body against the wall and closed his eyes. If he didn’t try to get rid of these feelings they would drive him crazy and he needed to be focused when they landed. Against his will, he grabbed his comlink and pressed a very familiar code on it, impatiently waiting for a reply.

"Yes General?" the voice answered.

"Cody," Obi-Wan acknowledged, "Come meet me in five minutes."

"Yes, sir."

Closing his communicator, the Commander gave a few orders to his companions around him before placing the higher ranked in charge as he excused himself. The clones didn’t ask any questions as they saw their commander leave the cantina for whatever reason he was called for. They knew better than to question their brother’s actions.

Cody knew the way to Obi-Wan’s personal quarters almost by heart. Even though the Republic had more than several Cruiser at hand, they were all built exactly the same and Obi-Wan had that habit to always sleep in the exact same room.

Since it took him about seven minutes just to get there, Cody knew that the General was already behind the door he was facing when he got there. He also knew he didn’t need to knock, that his General had always told him that he was more than welcomed in his quarters, but his programmed training forced him to gently knock on the metal door again. The door opened almost instantly.

Obi-Wan’s room looked the same, as always. Rather small but bigger than the ones the troops shared, with a single bed on the left and a small desk on the other side. The Jedi Master was sitting on the thin mattress, his elbows on his knees and rubbing his forehead with one hand. Cody sighed discreetly. Seeing Obi-Wan sad was becoming more and more familiar to him.

"You summoned me, General?" Cody asked, silently asking permission to enter.

Obi-Wan lifted his gaze to look at his Commander. "Yes, Cody. Please, enter…"

When the Trooper entered the room and the door shut behind him, Obi-Wan got to his feet and gestured in the Force to lock it. There were no words needed. Cody placed his helmet on the side desk and gently pulled Obi-Wan in his arms, capturing the man’s lips in a soft kiss.

Instantly, Obi-Wan groaned and wrapped his arms around Cody’s shoulders. He felt his whole body shiver as his Commander removed his black gloves and his warm hands started to untie his leather belt, leaving it carelessly on the desk beside his helmet. Obi-Wan couldn’t help a soft moan from escaping his lips as Cody slowly removed one side of his tunic and kissed, sucked and bit at the newly revealed soft skin. Force, it has been a long time since the last time they did this and Obi-Wan felt heat rise in his entire body as it started to shake with arousal.

They had to stop their ministration for a moment just to get Cody out of his imposing armor. When only the black under tunic remained, Obi-Wan didn’t hesitate to step forward and remove the top part, his hands automatically falling on the Commander’s hard, strong chest, his fingers marveling at the hard muscles it touched. He must know Cody’s body by heart by now, but each time he saw him again it was like a whole new experience. The Jedi bit his lips softly as his hands trailed higher and he caught the Commander’s head, begging for another kiss.

There was absolutely nothing romantic between the two men. Of course, they had always been good friends and they had gotten closer during the Clone Wars, going through all kinds of stresses and situations together. One night, during a conversation, while they were on patrol alone, they had discovered they shared the same desire for the same sex. That day, Cody and some troopers of his battalion had spared their day off looking at certain magazines showing off some pretty ladies. But as the other troopers all got excited about it, he didn’t. He had shared his thoughts with the man he considered like his best friend and was more than delighted to know that he felt the same. After their patrol was over, Obi-Wan had brought him back to his tent and Cody had silently sent him to oblivion.

Even though they didn’t do this often, they had discovered quite quickly that getting each other off like that was reducing their stress quite effectively. They only did it to keep a sane mind in those rough times of war and nothing else. Cody was also probably the only person in the whole galaxy who knew about his general’s feelings for his former Padawan, so getting involved romantically was out of the question.

When he finished removing the top layers of Obi-Wan Jedi tunics, Cody pulled back from the rather feral kiss he was giving to him and gestured for the bed. "Lie down, Obi-Wan."

His cheeks reddened and his eyes slightly unfocused, Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, Commander." It turned him on to reverse their roles, to have Cody command him instead. He quickly installed himself on his bed and closed his eyes, his body thrilling at the knowledge of what was coming.

Slowly, Cody removed his boots and climbed on top of his General, the space of the bed rather confining but large enough to fit them both. Cody licked his lips as he stared at the obvious bulge in the Jedi’s leggings. When he pulled the garment down, he heard Obi-Wan letting out a sigh of relief as his hard member was released from its confinement. Cody could feel his own cock ache in his pants, but his turn would come later.

Obi-Wan hissed when he felt warm fingers wrap around him and started stroking slowly, way too slowly for his taste. He tried to thrust faster into the large hand, but Cody’s other hand came to lie on his hips, keeping him from moving. Obi-Wan thought he was going to go mad. "More…" He choked his hand fisting the bed sheets.

Cody smirked. "I’m sorry, what?"

Obi-Wan laughed softly. So Cody wanted to play, huh? "Faster, please… Commander, please…"

A low chuckle rumbled in Cody’s throat. "Now, that’s better." He whispered as his hand started to pump faster on Obi-Wan’s hard cock, making the smaller body under him wiggle and thrash.

When Obi-Wan felt warm lips close around him, he could not hold back a loud moan and thanked the Force for those sound proof walls.

***

Anakin couldn’t sleep.

He had tried meditation, deep breathing, counting whompas, drinking water, everything. No matter how hard he tried, he simply couldn’t get himself to think about anything else than Obi-Wan mixed with all the bottled feelings of his upcoming divorce with the woman he thought he had loved for so many years. Staring at the ceiling of his small bunker bed, he sighed angrily.

What a fool he was. Thinking, _hoping_ that Obi-Wan might feel something for him. As he felt a small twist in his heart, he shifted on the small mattress so he could lie on his side and closed his eyes, trying to find some sort of peace. When Obi-Wan had spoken about the Code, Anakin had hoped that his Master would have at least admitted to some kind of feeling, a feeling the Jedi Code kept at bay. But Obi-Wan had made it clear that Jedi Code or not, he did not feel anything special for his former Padawan…

Anakin groaned, frustrated. He could specifically remember waking up cuddled close to his former Master and he could never forget how the man had kept him closer when he had tried to get away. He had even whispered his name in his sleep, and Obi-Wan was telling him that he couldn’t control himself in slumber? That it was just a mere incident? If Anakin didn’t know his Master better, he would suspect that the older man had been lying to his face.

Giving up on getting any sleep, Anakin swung his legs on the side of the bed and rubbed his eyes with his fingertips. His heart ached. He missed Padmé, he missed his mother, and he missed Obi-Wan already. It was like a fire in his heart had suddenly been extinguished. He had difficulties to cope with the idea of getting used to sleeping alone in his bed.

But as he got himself up with the goal to go beg the medical droid for some sleeping pills, he felt something… strong in the Force, taking him by surprise. Frowning, he stopped just before placing a step out of his personal quarters and reached in the Force, trying to get a glimpse of what was going on. It was coming from Obi-Wan, of that he was sure, but he couldn’t place his finger on what it was exactly. It was a swirl of emotions, but his Master’s mental shields kept Anakin from identifying them. A swirl of emotions coming from Obi-Wan couldn’t be good, though. Not coming from a man who was usually so in control of them. Fearing for his former Master, Anakin decided to investigate. Grabbing his cloak to keep himself warm from the Cruiser’s rather low temperature, he stormed off his quarters.

As for Obi-Wan, he was now laying beside Cody in the small space of his bunk bed, the small length of the mattress keeping the two men cuddling close, the Jedi’s head cradled on the Trooper’s large shoulder. Obi-Wan knew the gesture wasn’t romantic. In fact, the only reason the two of them weren’t back on their feet putting their clothes back on was probably because neither of them could actually move. Well, Obi-Wan knew _he_ couldn’t: Cody had always had this habit of giving him very powerful orgasms, leaving him limb and pleasantly exhausted.

It was all that it was with Cody though. Rough, hard, fast fucking until the two of them were satisfied enough. Obi-Wan knew he was probably a huge hypocrite for doing this while trying to teach his former Padawan _not_ to give in, but at the same time, there was no significant attachment between him and his commander. Of course, he cared deeply for Cody and knew he would be affected greatly if the man would be killed in battle. But he also knew that Cody would want him to go on, no matter what happened to him. Obi-Wan thought the same: it was a bit of a silent agreement between them. The Jedi sighed. The hypocrisy lied in the fact that he did it with Cody to released the pent up desire of constantly being close to his former Padawan…

Cody looked down at him. "You seem a bit sorrowful, General. Are you alright?"

Obi-Wan scoffed and closed his eyes. Looks like it was back to ‘General’ again. "I’m fine, Cody. Thank you." He lied.

But the Trooper didn’t seem at all convinced. "Is it because of General Skywalker again?"

Obi-Wan tried to hide the sudden blush that crawled on his cheeks by nuzzling Cody’s strong, large neck. Cody knew him too well. "He came to me earlier asking if I had feelings for him. He’s married, Cody…" Just the word pinched his heart hard enough to make him flinch and he backed up from the Trooper’s embrace to look at him. "Was I supposed to say yes?" Another sigh while he placed his fingers on the Trooper’s long scar across his right eye.

Cody gave him a side smile. "I wish I could answer that question, General but… I’m not programmed to feel that kind of feelings."

"You’re not programmed to feel love Cody, but you are able to feel compassion which is, my friend, the best gift anyone can give."

Cody held his gaze. "Thank you, sir."

The two of them were just about to get out of bed to get dressed again when a sudden buzz startled them both. The door to Obi-Wan’s quarters chimed rather hurriedly. The two men started at each other with wide eyes: a naked Jedi Master sitting on top of an also naked trooper was not the kind of show one wanted to see on the Cruiser. The walls were soundproofed, though. If there wasn’t any response, whoever was standing on the other side of the door would eventually go away.

As they were about to let long sighs of relief, the door chimed again, longer, more insistent. Obi-Wan didn’t flinch; he had locked the door earlier. He gave a slowly panicking Cody a reassuring look. If that person chimed again, he would have to answer to him later. Besides, the lock of the door was protected by a very specific code, and the _only_ person in the entire Cruiser beside himself who knew it was--

Oh no.

The reassuring expression on the Jedi’s face quickly changed to horror when he heard the buttons of the door pad being pressed in the exact way it needed to be to unlock the door. A quick glimpse in the Force was enough to confirm that the other person standing at the other side of the door was no more than his former Padawan. At the speed the younger Jedi was punching the digits on the door, there was absolutely no time for him or Cody to react. In a split of a second, the door was open, revealing their secret wide open.

Obi-Wan had expected anger from his former Padawan as the young man set his eyes on them. At most, he had expected him to turn away in disgust and close the door—Anakin had once told him he was the closest thing he had for a father, and the last thing you wanted to see was your supposed father figure bare ass on another very naked form. He had expected Anakin to yell in surprise or even make a _very bad_ joke about the situation. But the thing he had certainly not expected was to see disappointment, even _pure betrayal_ clouding Anakin’s face.

He also didn’t expect to see tears form in his former padawan’s eyes as he bowed his head and left without saying a single word.

Completely stumped, Obi-Wan could do nothing more than stare at the closed door, his heart hammering and his eyes wide. The words slipped from his mouth before he had time to process them. "What in the black stars?!"

Still under him, Cody half sighed, half chuckled. "You know General, I think he might have been honest earlier, about his questions…"

Obi-Wan turned his head and looked at his Commander like he had spoken in a ridiculous language. "But it’s… it’s not- it’s impossible…", he mumbled, trying to make sense of his former padawan’s reaction. At a loss of words, he removed himself from Cody’s hips and started pacing the small room, completely forgetting how naked he was. Some hope was starting to flourish deep in his heart, but he angrily pushed it back. Anakin was not emotionally stable and there was certainly a very specific reason why he had reacted this way. Yes, that was it…

Cody quickly joined him, grabbing his black under tunic and starting to dress as he tried to make eye contact with the nervous Jedi Master in front of him. "Either way, General, you’ll have some explaining to do. No matter what his reaction might have been, you told me yourself that doing this was going against your Code."

Obi-Wan stopped pacing and sighed heavily. How in seven Sith Hells was he going to explain that to Anakin?

***

It was Commander Cody.

Anakin had wanted to know for _so long_. He had teased his Master, begged him to tell, analyzed him in every way, tried to figure out who was sharing his Master’s bed. That previously unanswered question had occupied his mind for quite some time, going all the way back to the first time he had heard Obi-Wan in that tent on Boz Pity. But now that he knew, now that the person who was bringing his Master pleasure had a face, Anakin wished he had never known.

He fought down a sob as he walked back to his own quarters. Obi-Wan’s words kept echoing in his mind: _even if I had those feelings… I couldn’t. I’m sorry_. His heart broke in pieces. Obi-Wan had been lying to him. He had probably mentioned the Code as an excuse only to hide the fact that he already had a lover. Anakin couldn’t help a long wave of jealousy take over his mind as he thought of Obi-Wan and Cody holding each other, kissing…

If he could have slammed the sliding door of the small bedroom, he would have. Instead, he simply sat on the chair provided with the desk beside it and tried to control his pain. Right now, he hated himself for the feelings he had for the man who had raised him. He hated himself for having all those feelings and for attaching himself way too easily to those who were close to him. He hated himself for not being able to follow the Code, for not being able to detach himself from all those emotions which were harassing him right now.

And he hated Obi-Wan with all his being for lying to his face like he did earlier.

When the door of the bedroom opened and he heard steps coming in, he didn’t move. He knew who it was, just by listening to the calm walk. A walk he could recognize anywhere. He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath, trying to calm the rising anger slowly burning his heart away with betrayal, listening to whatever the older man had to say.

He could hear Obi-Wan hesitate. "Anakin, I…"

Suddenly, Anakin couldn’t control himself and turned around, facing his former Master while slamming his fist on the hard metal desk, filling the room with a loud sound which made the older man jump. "You _hypocrite_!", he yelled, his voice filled with hate and betrayal as the words suddenly came out of his mouth like a waterfall, "How can you tell me you can’t have feelings when you obviously have them for someone?! How can you spend the night with me, cuddle me like you did and then reject me only to go share a bed with another man minutes later?! How _dare_ you, Obi-Wan?!"

Astonished, Obi-Wan stared at the angry man in front of him, his breath caught in his throat. "Reject you?", he asked, his voice barely audible, the words of his former Padawan obviously affecting him, "What do you mean, reject you?"

Anakin bit his lips and turned around, his back to Obi-Wan. "I… I don’t want to talk about it."

"Anakin…", the older man started, clearly at a loss for words, "I recognise that I’m wrong and that I have been going against the Code but," he slowly walked behind the taller man and pressed a hand on his large shoulder, feeling the muscles tense under his touch, "I don’t understand why you’re so upset about it…"

When Anakin didn’t say anything, it left Obi-Wan completely puzzled. He tried to get a glimpse of what was going on inside the other man’s mind, but Anakin was shielding himself better than ever. He would have to figure out this one on his own and fast: there was no way they could begin their mission with Anakin swirling around negative emotions like he was doing right now.

"Please Anakin, tell me… You know I hate seeing you hurting…", he whispered, trying to at least comfort the man.

But the younger Jedi pushed away his comforting hand and refused to look at him. "You couldn’t understand.", he grumbled, still staring at the wall in front of him.

"Then make me understand!", Obi-Wan replied impatiently, "We are a team, Anakin. No matter how wrong my actions are I still need you focused on this mission-"

Anakin scoffed loudly. "So you’re only here because of the mission!"

"You know that’s not what I meant, Anakin!"

A long silence installed itself in the room as both men didn’t know what to do or say. Anakin was still facing away from his Master while the latter was trying to figure out a way to make the younger man talk. The air was heavy with pain, anger, betrayal and sorrow. It had been a long time since they had argued like this. Of course, there was always the small fights now and then, but not like this. It hurt them both very deeply.

It was after several minutes of quietness that Obi-Wan finally spoke. "What’s going on with Padmé?"

Instantly, the older Jedi knew he had struck a nerve. The imposing posture in front of him seemed to crumble under its own weight as it turned around to face him, a puzzled yet pained expression on his face, "What do you mean?"

For the first time since he entered the room, Obi-Wan managed a smile. "I’m not stupid, Anakin," he began, his voice gone much softer, "I know you’ve been frequenting her, even that you two are married. I never said anything before because I know you’re different and that taking this relationship away from you would destroy you." He stepped closer to the taller man, placing a gentle hand on his chest, "And I would never do something that would cause you pain."

_But you just did_ , Anakin thought. He swallowed heavily as he felt tears drown his eyes, his mind powerless to stop them. Obi-Wan seemed taken aback by this sudden change of situation and raised a hand to pick up the drop of water rolling on his former padawan’s cheek.  "Talk to me, Anakin, please…"

The younger Jedi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "She wants to divorce, Master."

Obi-Wan’s eyes went wide. "Oh dear, are you serious?" He could not believe it, the two of them were so in love! How was that possible? He had seen Padmé look at his former Padawan like he was some sort of Deity and he could also recall all the years he spent beside Anakin as the young man obsessed day after day after the beautiful Senator. When Anakin didn’t add anything, he asked: "What happened?"

The second the question was out, Anakin’s body shifted from one foot to another, clearly uncomfortable. He seemed to search his words for a moment. "She, um… She felt like my heart belonged to someone else."

Obi-Wan almost stumbled back. It was already painful to see Anakin’s heart beating for one person and now there was someone else in the equation? "Does it?", he asked, almost hoping for a negative answer.

This time, Anakin took a moment to think. After seeing his former Master in bed with Cody, he kind of knew that his feelings for the Jedi Master were more than what he first thought. His heart was still beating furiously at the thoughts of the images he had seen earlier. Surprisingly, the more he thought about it, about Obi-Wan and Cody together, the more the lump in his throat was choking him and it was becoming difficult to control a sob that was desperate to come out. Trying to hide this attack of emotion affecting him, Anakin stared at the floor and tried to avoid looking at Obi-Wan. But as he trailed his eyes to the metal tiles under their feet, he realized just how close his body was standing next to Obi-Wan and could not suppress a shiver from running through his body.

When he felt warm, gentle fingers forcing him to look up and stare at his Master, he didn’t resist. His eyes were met with two beautiful, concerned eyes and he could only realize in the dim light of his bedroom how Obi-Wan was absolutely gorgeous. Almost against his will, his mechanical hand rose and gave a gentle caress on the older man’s cheek.

"Anakin…", Obi-Wan sighed as he leaned into the mechanical digits, eyes closed.

"Do you love him?" Anakin asked, his voice as soft as his Master’s.

"What?"

Anakin retrieved his hand and stared into the two magnificent irises, but his voice was a little harder, seeking answers. "Do you love him, Commander Cody."

Obi-Wan sighed and lowered his eyes, feeling like a child being caught stealing candies at the local store. "Commander Cody is a good friend of mine who has been there for me when I needed it." He then looked up again, locking his gaze with his former Padawan’s eyes, "There have been times when I was… weaker than I’d wish and Cody was there to help. Nothing more."

Anakin took a breath, understanding the truth under his Master’s words; his relationship with Cody was nothing more than sexual. It brought some sort of relief knowing that Obi-Wan’s heart wasn’t beating for the man, but there was still something he needed to ask.

"Why didn’t you come to me?"

Obi-Wan seemed confused by the question. "What do you mean?"

"When you needed support, why didn’t you come to me?"

Obi-Wan almost laughed at the question, but there was a certain melancholy to his voice when he spoke. "Anakin, you already have someone in your heart. I’d never-"

Anakin shook his head at the man’s words and before his Master even had the chance to finish Anakin was cradling his head gently and kissing him. At first, Obi-Wan felt completely stumped by the sudden gesture, but the second he truly realized what was happening, his body and soul gave up and he kissed back with all his will. Anakin Skywalker, the young, beautiful man who had been making his heart beat like a wild beast for the past years was kissing him. It didn’t make any sense!

Noting his last thought, he pulled back, looking at Anakin like he was insane. "I don’t understand! You have Padmé! She’s the one you should be kissing, not me!"

Anakin put a gentle finger on his Master’s mouth, shutting him up. "Padmé wants to divorce because she knew my heart was beating for someone else. For _you_. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I refused to recognize those feelings, they’re here and they won’t go away." He then took one of his Master’s hand, placing it on his chest above his beating heart. "I love you, Obi-Wan. I have for a very long time and I can’t deny my feelings anymore. They drive me crazy."

Obi-Wan was shaking his head, not believing what he was hearing. "The divorce is affecting you, Anakin. You can’t mean what you're saying."

"If you don’t love me back, just say it Obi-Wan…", the younger Jedi replied, his face falling apart.

_Of course, I love you back you little clueless nerf-herder_. Obi-Wan sighed lifted his right hand, caressing the back of Anakin’s neck. "You know I love you, Anakin. More than anyone in this galaxy. Maybe even more than I’m ready to admit to myself."

Anakin looked at him, eyes filled with hope. Obi-Wan literally felt his heart melt.

"But right now, I don’t know if I can do this. My feelings are there, but we would risk a lot by loving each other in the dark of the Order. Just… give me some time to think about all this, please?"

Anakin nodded, even if his heart was screaming. "I understand."

After agreeing that they both needed some sleep before getting out of hyperspace, Obi-Wan placed a gentle kiss on Anakin’s cheek and left for his own quarters. When Anakin cried himself to sleep, he didn’t know if it was from sadness or pure joy.


End file.
